Michael Simcock - Vice Pres, in form

The Lao Elephants hosted a very successful INDOCHINA CUP four-nations tournament in Vientiane on November 26. 

 Approximately 100 players and many spectators, including Andrew Patterson of MMG, enjoyed the event.  After an address from the Australian Ambassador and broadcast of the Lao & Aussie national anthems, the games got underway.  Every game was fiercely contested but played in great spirit, with only one very minor injury recorded for the day.

 The Elephants put in a great effort as usual.  The highlight was when Santisouk Sengdara slotted a goal from the boundary line after the final siren, drawing the game with Cambodia, 29 points each.  Chompsee Sayabounsythong was voted best on ground for the Phants by the visiting teams.  The “Kings of the Mekong” title went to Vietnam who fielded a powerful team and were deserved winners on the day.

 The club would like to thank all of its sponsors including MMG, KXN, Sticky Fingers and ALL the other Lao Elephant sponsors for enabling such a great event to be held in Vientiane.

We would also like to thank Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand for making the trip to Lao for the first event Indo China Cup held in Lao.

We need your help to make this event a success! If anyone would be willing to volunteer there time it would be very much appreciated! We need people to help assist with the running of the event, umpires, goal umpires, boundry umpires, scorer/time keeper, officials etc……

If you think can you assist in some way please contact “President Paul” at president_laoelephants@laopdr.com

Although the Warriors were twice our size, in all different ways, the Lao boys put on a show. The slick skills and quick pace on the ground was the highlight of the Lao guy’s game. Trailing by 3 goals in the first and 3 goals going into half time, the Phants were in with a realistic chance of winning the game. A third quarter burst by the warriors put the Phants behind by 7 goals going into the last. A determined Elephants squad turned in it on in the last to finish 23 points (4 goals) behind a talented Malaysian squad.

There were a number of highlights through out the day, from hard hits, great goals, super plays etc. Picking the best players for the day was extremely difficult due to the consistency by ALL players on the ground except for those who decided The Beach Club was a better option the night before.

The team was joined by the Club President – Paul Simcock who had this to say “The match in KL was my first overseas view of our team in action and despite an 80% Lao player content, the Lao guys beat the stamina of both our own expat players and killed the Malaysian Warrior expats. More player experience and player skills combined with their current stamina, will see the Lao Elephants one of the leading teams to beat throughout South East Asia in the not so distant future … ” and Vice President/Player – Michael Simcock “Great fought out match! The Lao guys were truly inspirational and exciting. The Club with its development of the Lao Nationals through great help from a handful of people is looking extremely strong going into the future”  

The Phants are now in preparation for the Asian Champs held in Bangkok, Thailand next month. With a pleasing game in Malaysia, the Phants hope to capitalise on the experience and take their game to the next level!

The Phants would like to thank their sponsors for the ongoing support and encouragement for the Lao Elephants – MMG (LXML), Boart Long Year, Bor Pen Yang Bar, Argonaut, RM Asia and Vientiane Geomatic Services (VGS). For more information regarding the Phants, please contact president_laoelephants@yahoo.com

Following the resignation of President Langas, the Lao Elephants are delighted to announce the election of Mr. Paul Simcock to the throne. Promising his reign to be one without mercy and much blood-shed President Simcock made his first address to the playing list:

“I would say i’m a bit of an animal-lover. In this way I think I will be really good for the Lao Elephants, combining compassion, and a caring and understanding nature. I will be looking to really get to know the players and understand what makes them tick. I’m really excited about this new challenge and hope i’ll be welcomed with open arms. I think we will have lots of fun together!”

While said to be unimpressed with this initial address, player power-broker Pauly Cornetto has stated he will be willing to give the new Pres a chance if he guarantess him a starting role in the ‘Phants forward line and a case of Beer Lao every month.

The Vietnam Swans celebrate their win at the 2010 Indochina Cup

Despite putting in a spirited effort to send off their President in style, the Lao Elephants were unable to stomp home from the 2010 Indochina Cup as Kings of the Mekong.

One a hot, humid, Saigon day this year’s Indochina Cup was competed by the Vietnam Swans, Thailand Tigers, Cambodian Corbras and the Lao Elephants.

Keen to replicate their success in the 2008 tournament and put behind them the horrors of the 2009 tournament, the Lao Elephants fielded their strongest line-up since their previous match. While a number of changes were made, with inclusions such as Dinkles Handley, Sly Si, Boom Boom, Ferrari and Tricky, the ‘Phants only managed one win from their three matches.

Starting the day against the Thailand Tigers, the ‘Phants were licking their trunks in anticipation. Not since the Road Runner vs Coyote has a rivalry been as one-sided as the ‘Phants’ domination of the Thailand Tigers. At the Asian Champs. With the Boris Beanpole starting in the ruck and a midfield combination of Tricky, Langas and Snakes the ‘Phants quickly asserted their dominance, gathering loose-ball gets, winning the contested footy and peppering the forward line with quality delivery. While the quality of the delivery was not always michellin starred, the sheer amount of ball entering the forward line allowed the ‘Phants to register a healthy lead to half-time, which was improved on during the second quarter. Special mention to newbie Jon VIS who registered three goals on debut. A strong effort was also registered by the ‘Phants backline who managed to repel the few Tiger forays forward. The ‘Phants are 1-0

The second ‘Phants match of the day was against the Cambodian Cobras. While the Cobras had come out hard during their match against the Vietnam Swans, they were obviously intimidated by the size and ferocity of the ‘Phants line-up. In a tough, physical, bruising encounter between the glamour team of Asian Football and the new kid on the block it is best to forget about the score. I certainly don’t remember it. Despite solid efforts from Sly Si, Dinkles, Tricky and Tony down forward the Elephants may have possibly, maybe, not quite won the match. But I can’t be sure. Phants are 1-1

In a match to decide the eventual winner of the Indochina Cup the Lao Elephants were up against their arch-rival and illegitimate brother, the Vietnam Swans. If the Elephants were able to win by over 50 points they could walk away with the cup and claim supremacy over their post-colonial brothers. Could they do it? Could they bring home the cup and shower the fatherland with pride? This is another question i’m not quite sure of the answer to.

In tropical rain, with the temperature hovering around 58 degrees celsius the ‘Phants were able to go to the half-time break of the final match in the lead. With Boris and Pauly asserting their dominance in the ruck, Tricky proving why he is the most damaging midfielder in Asian football and Ferrari providing plenty of run off the backline the ‘Phants were in with a chance of knocking off the Swannies.

As the second half began the crowd was clearly behind the ‘Phants, but the Swannies had stepped up their attack on the ball a notch. With ‘Phants falling down left right and centre due to cramps and injury the Swan’s superior numbers (a team list which had an estimated 57 players) began to play its part. While the ‘Phants fought hard they were unable to hold back the surging flock of Swans as they registered their third win of the day and went/stayed home with their first ever Indochina Cup.

As always the ‘Phants fought hard for the Pink and Grey and walked away with heads held high. Notable performances were from Langas (in his last match as President), Ferrari, Boris, Pauly, Simon, Dinkles, Jon, Tricky, Hoff and Snakes. The recruits from the backpacker district the night before also proved worth their weight in gold as Nick, Paul, Michael, and anyone else I can’t remember the name of, played blinders.

With the presentation of the Cup to the victorious Coach and Captain from the Swans by the Australian Consul General in Saigon the celebrations for the tournament could begin.

A big thanks to the Vietnam Swans who put on a terrific tournament, the best one yet. Despite having half the population of Vietnam on their squad list, they were great hosts and have set the bar extremely high for next year’s Indochina Cup, which will be hosted by the Lao Elephants in Vientiane.

The Lao Elephants would also like the send a big thanks to Langas for the service he has done for the club. In a year of milestones for the club, Langas has been leading the charge and we are stoked he will still be able to play a role in our future activities.

Reading from a prepared statement to the press-pack gathered at ‘Phants HQ in Ban Thad Khao this morning,, Club Secretary Snakes stated “Ever since moving training from the Sandpit on a Wednesday night a couple of years ago we’ve been looking for a solid and regular training field. Hopefully this ground, being one of the best sporting fields in Vientiane, will allow the ‘Phants to continue growing their playing list and allow the players to continue improving their skills and “get-around-it-ness”. A field without rabbit holes, more than 40% grass coverage and having more than 60% of the field lit-up at night will give us a big advantage when competing with other teams on field that don’t look like the legacy of the Indochina War.”

Snakes continued “The Lao Elephants Football Club would like the thank the American Ambassador for allowing the team to play its football on the highest privately owned, Vientiane-municipality based sporting stage and helping us go from strength to strength in Asian Football. The proximity to grilled duck after training is also expected to prove a boon to playing numbers and the local economy.”

Match Reports Asian Champs Shanghai

The 11th annual Asian Championships, and the Lao Elephants 3rd on the trot, has been played and won in Shanghai. As per usual they were a triumph for the men in pink in every sense of the word. The Phants maintained their perfect record of having won a game in every champs they’ve competed in and having a better than decent sized crack both on and off field.

Just getting enough players to the Hai was a momentous effort with phants of all shapes and sizes arriving from the Tiane, the Pon, the Kok, the Kong, the Bourne, the Ming, the Don, and the Jing. Merely arriving in Shanghai is no easy feat with half the side finding out the hard way that the city is the size of Western Australia. The Sepon crew spent a joyous day on planes, trains and automobiles after a few too many tsingtao’s in Kunming, the ex-president had 3 birthdays on this way from Pudong airport to the hotel and Vinny’s 2 hour train trip somehow became a 10 hour a train trip. Welcome to China. Once again the preparation was perfect.

Game 1 vs Hong Kong Dragons

History’s don’t come much prouder than that of the LPDRFC. This year the Elephants fielded a record 7 indigenous Lao players proving once again the only club in the region having a decent crack at blooding local players.

The Hong Kong Dragons are one of the big names in Asian footy. Three time champions with a forward line stacked with hedge fund managers, the Dragons were a pre-tournament favourite.

With more sponsors than a pre-stripper Tiger Woods, the Phants new kit looked a real treat – returning to the salmon of 2007 and ensuring the Rooster a 5 star hotel upgrade next time he plays for the Oslo Ocelots.

As per usual the first half of the first game was a bit sloppy. Half the blokes didn’t know each other, and half the Lao blokes had never played a game before. Things warmed up in the second half as the Dragon assault was slowed by a solid backline led by Ryan Edgecombe, the Croissant and the Cornetto. Vincenzo was in and under the packs like a crazed bulldog on ball heat and Junior Mack was solid across the half back line. Gheng started on the ball in his first ever game and very quickly adjusted his giant frame to the frenzied pace of Asian footy. Hoff and the Serpent rounded out the phants on-ball brigade, all of whom did a good job in nullifying the class of the Dragons.

Phants down by a few goals but far from outplayed.

Game 2 – Vs Thailand Tigers

This is one of the great rivalries in global sport, bettered only by the Phants ritual Asian Cup dominance of the Vietnam Swans (alas, not to be this year).

The Phants were slow out of the blocks. A dubious early Tigers goal which missed by about 3 metres was a setback. The goal umpire was on his 5th morning beer, a real battler. The Phants began to pepper the goal midway through the first half and after a few near misses including a shocking Dorothy Dixer from Dengue Fever, a moment of Sengdara magic got the Phants on the board for the day. A long kick into the forward line was roved off the pack by the Skipper who quickly steadied and went bang from about 30. One of the great all time Phant goals. Disappointingly the aeroplane didn’t come out in celebration but Souk’s recounting of the story in years to come is destined to enter the proud tradition of Laotian sporting poetry.

Another goal by the ex-pres left the phants up by a goal at the main (and only) break.

The second half was a Phantaslide. Vincenzo and the Serpent began running riot in the guts, and Chompsy set the ground on fire with his pace on the wing. Thommo kicked a goal from near the centre on a rare venture forward and then big bad Jase at full forward went bang, bang, bang in one of the most clinical spearhead performances in phant history. Far too strong for his opponent, the phant plan was simplified to ‘get ball, kick long, goal’.

In a magic moment father-son recruit Mack came flying past his old man screaming ‘Dad, Dad’ running into an open goal but was cruelly denied by his old man.

Phants by 5 goals, a phumping. And yes we did sing the song, and yes it did sound beautiful. Pitch perfect and phantphukingtastic.

Game 3 – Vs Dubai

By finishing second in the group, the Phants were drawn to play everyone’s favourite side the reigning champion Dubai Heat in the second round. The Dubai Heat are Asian Footy’s equivalent of Collingwood. If you’re not with them, you are most certainly against them. Big, fit, and better at footy than everyone else – they’re a very easy side to resent. There’s also the issue of their theme song. It’s shit. Really shit.

A few of the Lao boys looked a little worried about their alpha male opponents as they lined up initially but each of them had a decent crack. Safe in the knowledge that in Southern Sai the Phants had the Lao kickboxing champion on board if the proverbial did at any stage hit the fan it’d be good night Heat.

The backline stood up to a series of hot heat assaults in the first half as the rather hot goals were peppered. Frenchy was as solid as a month old croissant and Wes a veritable rock of Gibraltar – so long as no women were walking past. That is one back pocket who loves his chicks.

With the Phants under pressure someone needed to stand up. Cometh the hour, cometh the Duck. The President began to assert his rather considerable presence on the game with a couple of strong grabs at CHF to give the young pachyderms strength of heart. Quack, Quack, Quack.

In a classic package Chompsy grabbed the ball in the guts and took off like Usain Bolt over 10m, 20m, 30m, 40m….not a bounce in sight! An excitement machine. The Phants Liam Jurrah (who set the Hai alight on the Sunday afternoon as the demons beat the Brisbane Bears… a sign of things to come in 2011)

Wile the Phants didn’t kick a goal against the Heat, they showed a lot of ticker – not surprising given the size of an elephant heart.

Game 4 vs Japan.

This is a game the Phants should have won. A poor first half and inaccurate kicking cost us. Early in the 1st half captain courageous Sengdara took a knock in the head for the team and was rushed off to hospital where they stapled his head back together. A classic example of the Chinese medical system right there. No need for medical equipment, simple office stationary will suffice. That’s why they are certain to rule the world one day.

The Japanese Goannas play an exciting, fast brand of footy, led by their indigenous players. The Japanese have had an AFL system in universities for a decade and are reaping the benefits. Let’s hope that over time the young Lao blokes are given the opportunity to develop to that level.

Down by 11 points at half time the Phants dominated the second half with Travis Clokesque near miss following near miss. Most phants had a shot on goal before the Vincenzo finally banged one through from 50 to put Lao within a point.

Japan 2.0 – 12 to the Phants 1.5 – 11 – a pretty poor scoreline and not for the first time in its proud history the pachyderms were left to rue missed opportunities.

Some Highlights

All in all a cracking tour had by all, another roaring success. Hats off to the Pres, the Sexetary, the Croissant and all the organising committee for putting it all together.

Vincenzo and Chompsy were voted best Phants by the Phants.

In a massive effort Snakes was voted as equal best player at the entire champs and a member of the all-asian side. A massive effort from the Serpent. Adam came to the club as a pre-pubescent 13 year old and has matured into a pre-pubescent 15 year old, one of the leaders of the club and a bloody good fella to boot. Congrats Snakes.

Vincenzo was very stiff to miss out on all-Asian selection. Bloody system is rigged.

The Cornetto once again led the Phants off field with a very strong performance on Saturday night, and apparently up on the Russian border some days later.

The Croissant took on the role of chief merchandise distributor and thanks to his efforts it’s a rare bloke in Asian footy who doesn’t now own a phants jumper. Tre bon Francois.

The Champs were possibly the last game (for now) for club legend Ryan Edgecombe. The mysteriously named Thommo has been a great servant of the club we wish him well into the future.

Souk’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when at the number of showbags on offer at the Sunday game.

Next year it looks like the champs are back in the Kok – the spiritual home of Asian footy. The call must go out for all Phant alumni to get out those massive trunks and make a big effort to be there to give it a good old fashioned crack.

Andrew Williamson AKA Club legend

Reeling from the loss of club stalwart Andrew Williamson III Esg., the Lao Elephants have had a restless and disturbed build-up to their third annual Asian Champs in as many years. With a division between the north and south club factions not seen since the celebrations after Adelaide’s back-to-back flag win when Pauly’s body just couldn’t quite do what his head wanted it to, there has been a very slow build-up of momentum on the way to Shanghai. Despite these setbacks the trunks have slowly begun to sway in unison and the trumpetting has been getting louder and louder.

Having been hit by the travel, dengue and general apathy bug, the Vientiane playing stocks have taken a hit in recent months and are only now starting to rebuild slowly, with the inclusion of a couple new recruits and a few more waiting in the wings for their debut. Accordingly, much of this year’s preparations for the Asian Champs has come from the Southern based Lao Elephants, who’ve been recruiting with gusto and host a herd of household names to be feared. Names like “Shauno”, “Frenchy”, “Simmo”, “the Hoff”, “the Hoff’s son” and “Shane” have been mentioned all along the route 13 north and have been causing tremors to break out among the playing lists of the other competing nations.

With only a week to go until the big event kicks off the ‘Phants have been out on the track and in the gym, maintaining their reputation as the most asthetically pleasing of South East Asian football sides and challenging for the pinkest. With a mild Autumn waiting for them in Shanghai many a ‘Phant has been thankful that the tropical training routine should see them acclimatise advantageously to match conditions.

Can the Lao Elephants match the heights of their previous Asian Champs campaigns by embarassing the Vietnam Swans yet again, or will… nah, bugger it. We’ll just embarass the Swannies again.

Asian Champs, one week to go: Time to start getting serious, getting our game faces on, slicing up the organges and boning up on the rules of the game again.

Up the ‘Phants!

Join us at Bor Pen Nyang on the 25th September 11am

Lao Elephants Australian Rules Football Club Invites you to watch the 2010 AFL Grand Final LIVE on the Big Screens at Bor Pen Nyang Bar and Restaurant (new home of the Lao Elephants)

Saturday 25th September, from 11am

Bor Pen Nyang Bar and Restaurant

Enjoy all the atmosphere and excitement of being at the big game:

• Meat Pies
• Raffle Draws
• Half-time Presentations

Everyone is welcome, even those who’ve never seen the mighty AFL in action before.

The Lao Elephants would like thank our many sponsors for helping make this event possible.

“We’re gonna make sure we take no prisoners, we hit ‘em where it hurts, that we take it one-match at a time, that we all give it 110%, and that we really get around it and clap each other out.” With the cliches coming thick and fast Sai was doing his best to gee-up the Northern Pinks and convince them to not drink three cases of beerlao each as they make the 10 hour bus trip down to Thakhek and Seppon on Friday night and Saturday morning.

While such a trip so close to the start of a game is shunned by some of the more precious athletes in other extreme sports, the Northern Pinks are confident that their unique pre-match preparation will pay the kind of dividends it did last year when, despite four players being unable to take the field due to undisclosed alcohol related incidences, the Northern Pinks were able to get up by 6 goals over their Southern counterparts.

With the match taking place at the LXML football staidum in Seppon, the Southern Greys will be expecting a big home crowd to cheer them on, while the Pinks will be expecting the kind of reception generally reserved for a Richmond coach after a slightly dissapointing start to a season. Despite the ledger this year being thrown completely in the favour of the Greys (home ground advantage, travel fatigue for the northerners, a couple of Americans taking the field for the Pinks, having Pauly as your centre-half forward and generally having to wear guernseys of Pink in front of the kind of men you would expect to meet in a mining-town sequel to Wolf Creek) the Pinks and Sly Sai will be expecting it to be a cracking encounter with Seppon, Vilaybouly, LXML, the ‘Phants, citizens of Lao PDR, the province of Savvanakhet and the People’s Revolutionary Party of Lao PDR being the real winners on the day. The only expected losers being the livers of several players overwhelmed by the PHANT-sized occasion.