In a sudden reversal, Brendan Fevola, formerly of the Carlton Waterlillies, has turned his back on the Lao Elephants football club, instead choosing to join the Elephants’ more maroon and southern arch-rivals. The rivalry between two of nature’s most impressive beasts has raged since the Lions unsuccessfully tried to poach Elephants back-pocket of the century Phomvihane from the affili...
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BREAKING NEWS SOUTH Korean police, in one of their more heavyweight cases, are investigating whether a zoo elephant threw a stone at a woman visitor. The woman, known as Ms Kim, told police she was visiting the zoo at the Children’s Grand Park in southeast Seoul on Monday when she noticed an elephant picking up a stone with its trunk. After she turned away from 35-year-old Taesani, she was h...
Elephants, it is now only 8 days to the greatest day in a young mahouts life. When donning the famous pink and grey, you grow as an Elephant, trunks, ears and trunks stomp stomp. We have drawn ARCH nemesis Vietnam in our draw along with some fat, snuffling singaporese wombats, surfer dude Balinese gecko’s, and the red river Chinese Team. Elephants rise, show your trunks, here we come… ...
The Lao Elephants Australian Rules Football Club is the greatest sporting team in the entire world, probably the universe. Built on the age old principle of men wearing pink guernseys with tight grey shorts in tropical countries, it is not an exaggeration to suggest that the formation of the Elephants ranks with man’s arrival on the moon, the discovery of penicillin, and the penning of the a...
At a recent training session (closed to the media) the Ferrari sought to inspire his team-mates with a speech reminiscent of great articulated moments in history, like The Gettysburg Address, Ted Whitten before the Vics went out and smashed the Crow-Eaters, The Eureka Stockade and Mick McGuane’s three-quarter time address to the Balwyn Tigers during the Eastern Football League’s 1st di...
The Elephants board have rejected a proposal from Terry Wallace’s manager that ‘plough’ join the phants as High Performance Manager leading into the Asian Football Championships in KL later this year. President Fenner revealed to a packed scrum of local media this morning that talks had stalled following uncertainty surrounding Wallace’s future at Richmond. In his statemen...
#gallery-1 { margin: auto; } #gallery-1 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-1 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-1 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } Elephants from as far as South Africa have begun to slowly stomp into Sayaboury in the ...
Jean Paul Satre contemplates the complications posed by opposition on-ballers The words of French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Satre read like the unwritten Lao Elephants Manifesto as not yet produced by the founding fathers on that fateful day in front of Don Chan Palace in May 2007. ‘IN FOOTBALL EVERYTHING IS COMPLICATED BY THE PRESENCE OF THE OTHER TEAM’ A more profound st...
During a recent visit to document the re-emergence of Australian Rules Football in the Lao PDR in the form of the first home match this century involving the Lao Elephants and the Jakarta Bintangs, Professor Aamon Flannery OAM took the opportunity to visit Lao National Museum and was astonished to find an ancient bronze drum. An almost speechless Professor Flannery revealed that the drum was almos...
Coach Hassett has been cleared of any charges of possessing or exporting ivory (see earlier story), leading to scenes of unprecedented national relief throughout the PDR. As it turns out the alleged 200kg of ivory under the Coach’s mansion were plastic halloween fangs with uncanny similarity to elephant tusks that were being saved by Chris Manley for his next assault on a dress up party. M...
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