Northern Pinks prepare to destroy Southern Greys in upcoming local ‘Pants derby

“We’re gonna romp and stomp all over those miner boys from down South” said Sly Sai Souksombath when addressing the troops over a couple of pre-tour beers at everyone’s favourite four floors in Vientiane over the weekend.

“We’re gonna make sure we take no prisoners, we hit ‘em where it hurts, that we take it one-match at a time, that we all give it 110%, and that we really get around it and clap each other out.” With the cliches coming thick and fast Sai was doing his best to gee-up the Northern Pinks and convince them to not drink three cases of beerlao each as they make the 10 hour bus trip down to Thakhek and Seppon on Friday night and Saturday morning.

While such a trip so close to the start of a game is shunned by some of the more precious athletes in other extreme sports, the Northern Pinks are confident that their unique pre-match preparation will pay the kind of dividends it did last year when, despite four players being unable to take the field due to undisclosed alcohol related incidences, the Northern Pinks were able to get up by 6 goals over their Southern counterparts.

With the match taking place at the LXML football staidum in Seppon, the Southern Greys will be expecting a big home crowd to cheer them on, while the Pinks will be expecting the kind of reception generally reserved for a Richmond coach after a slightly dissapointing start to a season. Despite the ledger this year being thrown completely in the favour of the Greys (home ground advantage, travel fatigue for the northerners, a couple of Americans taking the field for the Pinks, having Pauly as your centre-half forward and generally having to wear guernseys of Pink in front of the kind of men you would expect to meet in a mining-town sequel to Wolf Creek) the Pinks and Sly Sai will be expecting it to be a cracking encounter with Seppon, Vilaybouly, LXML, the ‘Phants, citizens of Lao PDR, the province of Savvanakhet and the People’s Revolutionary Party of Lao PDR being the real winners on the day. The only expected losers being the livers of several players overwhelmed by the PHANT-sized occasion.